"You, Who Have Come To Sorrow's Hospice, Think Well"

“LET IT GO!”

To many of us who struggle with depression, along with its host of attendant maladies (guilt, shame, anxiety, self-loathing, languor), these words strike as a cruel taunt.

Let it go? Seriously? Is THAT the best you can do? Just let it all go and be happy, blissfully jaunting through fragrant fields of flowers and sonorous birds?

Just like that?

I believe that, when people speak these words, they usually do so out of good intentions. It’s not their goal that’s askew.

It’s the words themselves.

It’s not “let it go.” Consider, instead, the words, “Let it go BY.”

Depression is pure evil. It saps you of your vigor, your intellectual edge, your desire, your passion. Everything that makes you, you—is affected. Simply “releasing” it does not work, the endless shelves of self-help books arguing to the contrary notwithstanding.

But there is good news: you need not let it go. Instead, let it go by.

Sit down in a comfortable chair—or if, like me, you cannot meditate while sitting, lie down.

Keep your spine as straight as possible, but don’t worry if your posture is askew. This is not a contest; no judges are standing over you with scorecards.

Take a deep breath into your belly. Hold. Exhale.

Repeat. In. Hold. Out. Hold. In…

Keep doing it until your breath becomes regular and deep of its own accord.

Now, open the floodgates. Not a lot. You don’t want all your emotional demons flooding out all at once. To most people, it is too overwhelming. Instead, just let a trickle of emotion through.

Breathe in and out…and watch. Listen. Above all, just be with whatever comes. Do not try to control it in any way. Do not interpret it—that only feeds it, makes it stronger, more determined, more arrogant.

Be a disinterested observer of whatever plays out in your field of awareness. With each breath, simply watch your inner drama play itself out as it passes by—like flickering images on a TV screen.

When watching a movie, you’d never want to grasp an image and forcibly keep it from advancing, right?

This is the same. Don’t grasp. Don’t interfere or interrupt. Just breathe…and watch.

Do this as long, and as often, as you feel comfortable.

At first, being in the presence of such raw emotion may feel extremely uncomfortable, or even downright painful. It is therefore best if you have someone—a loved one, a close friend, a counselor—to guide you through the process. Simply knowing you aren’t alone can make a huge difference.

So that’s it. Don’t let it go—let it go by, and WATCH.

Eventually, a point will come when the last drop has flown past the floodgate of awareness—and you are free.

Until then, good luck—and know that I am here, rooting for you.