Your Own Personal Assistant

Every day, we wrestle with questions great and small. What we often don't realize, however, is that we need not do it alone.

It is said that we only use 10% of our brains. But we can use the other 90%--if we know how.

Simply put, we can put our subconscious minds to work.

Here's how:

1) Enter a meditative state. Breathe in and out, until your mind is clear.

2) Then, picture the dilemma with which you're wrestling. Picture it as words written on paper. Maybe it comes to you in the form of an object. Does it appear as a wispy, abstract thought? That's fine too.

3) Now comes the fun part: turn it over--fully, without reservation--to your subconscious. You may picture it as a person, sent to assist you. Maybe it, too, is abstract and vague. I like to picture mine as a boundless, calm, crystal-clear ocean. Whatever form it takes, hand over your concern to it.

4) Wait.

The wait may be no longer than a good-night's sleep, or longer if the matter is serious and complex. Whatever the case, trust that your subconscious mind is amassing all its ample resources for the task.

The answer may unfold gradually, but more often--upon awakening in the morning, for instance--you may experience an "Aha!" moment in which the matter becomes clear.

Put your own personal assistant to work--you'll be very pleasantly surprised.

Blogging Dante: Part 5

"He seemed gnawed by remorse for his offense:
O noble conscience without stain! how sharp
the sting of a small fault is to your sense!"


Our conscience can be unduly harsh. Do not hold a grudge against it, however; it's there to guide us.


"No man may be so cursed by priest or Pope
but what the Eternal Love may still return
while any thread of green lives on in hope."


For as long as even a sliver of hope exists, you must press on.


"Such is this Mount that when a soul
begins the lower slopes it most must labor;
then less and less the more it nears its goal.

Thus when we reach the point where the slopes seem
so smooth and gentle that the climb becomes
as easy as to float a skiff downstream,

then will this road be run, and not before
that journey's end will your repose be found."


To reach heaven, we all must traverse our own personal hell.


"There is a place below where sorrow lies
in untormented gloom. Its lamentations
are not the shrieks of pain, but hopeless sighs."


The absence of hope burns harsher than any fire and brimstone.


"'Don't be afraid,' he said. 'From here our course
leads us to joy, you may be sure. Now, therefore,
hold nothing back, but strive with all your force."


However harsh your journey may be at the moment, never lose sight of the destination: the joy that awaits you.


"Remember, this day will not dawn again."


So seize it.


"Thus you may understand that love alone
is the true seed of every merit in you,
and of all acts for which you must atone."


Cultivate your love. It is within you--and more boundless than you can imagine.


"When Love inspires me with delight,
or pain, or longing, I take careful note,
and as he dictates in my soul, I write."


Whatever Love prompts you to do artistically, follow its injunctions with zeal.

On Diving

Depression, guilt, self-loathing--it feels solid, real.

This, however, is an illusion. But you need not take my word for it.

See for yourself.

Get into a meditative posture. Some prefer to sit. If, like me, you can only meditate while laying down, that's ok too.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

Then...listen.

Allow whatever you're feeling free rein. Let it flood you.

Do not resist. Just feel.

After a while, something interesting begins to happen. The melancholy, which had felt so solid, begins to flicker.

At this point, you may feel strange physical sensations. Your arms may tingle. You may experience alternate feelings of coolness and warmth. Your center of consciousness may shift to the top of your head so you barely feel the rest of your body.

That's ok. Let it happen.

Eventually, you begin to sink down, beneath whatever sensation happens to be passing through.

Whatever you find down there is far more real than what you began with. Let it happen.

What do you discover down there? Sadness? Anger? Or just a vast, turbid numbness?

Do this as often as you can. Familiarize yourself with whatever lies underneath your melancholia. THIS is where reality awaits you.

Blogging: Friedrich Nietzsche

"How relieved the general feeling of life would be if, together with the belief in guilt, we could also get rid of the ancient instinct of revenge, and if we even considered it a fine cleverness in a happy person to pronounce a blessing over his enemies, with Christianity, and if we benefited those who had offended us. Let us remove the concept of sin from the world--and let us soon send the concept of punishment after it. May these banished monsters live somewhere else henceforth, not among men, if they insist on living at all and do not perish of their own disgust."

Guilt and revenge have plagued humankind for generations, resulting in untold deaths and misery. I, for one, wouldn't be sad to see them go.

 "But the worst enemy you can encounter will always be you, yourself; you lie in wait for yourself in caves and woods."

As a wise man once said, "We have seen the enemy, and he is us." Our most vicious battles are often fought with--ourselves. In such battles, who is the winner? Can there be a winner?

"Lonely one, you are going the way to yourself. And your way leads past yourself and your seven devils. You will be a heretic to yourself and a witch and soothsayer and fool and doubter and unholy one and a villain. You must wish to consume yourself in your own flame: how could you wish to become new unless you had first become ashes!"

Overcoming oneself is an arduous, and courageous, task. Do not spurn it. However difficult it may be, peer into your innermost depths, and overcome yourself.



"Physician, help yourself: thus you help your patient too. Let this be his best help that he may behold with his eyes the man who helps himself."

Do not wait for others to "fix" you. Work on yourself; you'd be surprised how many others will then lend their assistance. First you must show that you are serious about healing.

"There is much filth in the world; that much is true. But that does not make the world itself a filthy monster."

 

 

 

The world screams with anguish and suffering; yet that makes it no less beautiful. Gratitude for one's life, for one's world, is a very high, noble sentiment.

"Behold this man languishing here! He is but one span from his goal, but out of weariness he has defiantly lain down in the dust--this courageous man! Out of weariness he yawns at the way and the earth and the goal and himself: not one step farther will he go--this courageous man! Now the sun glows on him and the dogs lick his sweat; but he lies there in his defiance and would sooner die of thirst--die of thirst one span away from his goal!"

 

 

 

How many people have given up just short of their goal? How many ailing souls have quit mere seconds before insight and true healing? Learn from them--and keep going no matter what.

"The higher its type, the more rarely a thing succeeds. You higher men here, have you not all failed?

Be of good cheer, what does it matter? How much is still possible! Learn to laugh at yourselves as one must laugh!"

 You have failed; so what? Now you know what does not work. Cross it off the list, and plot your strategy anew.

"The most spiritual human beings, if we assume that they are the most courageous, also experience by far the most painful tragedies: but just for that reason they honor life because it pits its greatest opposition against them."

 

 

 

Life's difficulties are no argument against it; if anything, they are arguments for life. These same difficulties are a crucible in which your love and compassion are mercilessly forged.

"Strong hope is a far more powerful stimulant of life than any single realization of happiness could ever be."

Nurture your hope at all costs; it will never fail you.

 And, lastly...

"The 'kingdom of heaven' is a state of the heart...[T]he 'kingdom of God' is nothing that one expects; it has no yesterday and no day after tomorrow. It will not come in 'a thousand years'--it is an experience of the heart; it is everywhere, it is nowhere."

A Second Burial

The burial awaiting us at life's end is not the first.

How many of us have not been buried under the debris of crashing hopes, broken dreams, lost loves?

When any structure that brings us meaning comes crashing down, it is overwhelming. Suffocating.

The dust of our failure seeps into our lungs, choking us.

Do not believe it.

Struggle for one last breath--and reach up. Claw, with every waning ounce of strength, to be free again.

Reach up through the rubble. Maybe a helping hand will grasp yours and pull you to safety.


But at all times, reach up.

Inhale. Exhale. You are free.

"The Past Is Finished"

"The past is finished, and cannot be undone,

Care for the future should be our concern."

--Theognis of Megara

Blogging: Seneca

"Think for a long time whether or not you should admit a given person to your friendship. But when you have decided to do so, welcome him heart and soul, and speak as unreservedly with him as you would with yourself."

Be cautious when granting people admittance to your inner circle; but when you do grant it, do so without scruples.

 

 

 

"Fear keeps pace with hope. Nor does their so moving together surprise me; both belong to a mind in suspense, to a mind in a state of anxiety through looking into the future. Both are mainly due to projecting our thoughts far ahead of us instead of adapting ourselves to the present. Thus it is that foresight, the greatest blessing humanity has been given, is transformed into a curse."

As much as possible, stay in the present moment. That is where true healing awaits you.

"We who are recovering from a prolonged spiritual sickness are in the same condition as invalids who have been affected to such an extent by prolonged indisposition that they cannot once be taken out of doors without ill effects."

 

 

 

Depression is brutal and carries a venomous bite. Its devastating effects should never be underestimated.

 

 

 

"If God adds the morrow we should accept it joyfully. The man who looks for the morrow without worrying over it knows a peaceful independence and a happiness beyond all others. Whoever has said 'I have lived' receives a windfall every day he gets up in the morning."

 

 

 

Look to the future, by all means, but don't dwell on it. Exercise foresight with your feet planted firmly in the present.

 

 

 

"You rush hither and thither with the idea of dislodging a firmly seated weight when the very dashing about just adds to the trouble it causes you--like the cargo in a ship...Once you have rid yourself of the affliction there, though, every change of scene will become a pleasure. You may be banished to the ends of the earth, and yet in whatever outlandish corner of the world you may find yourself stationed, you will find that place, whatever it may be, a hospitable home. Where you arrive does not matter so much as what sort of person you are when you arrive there."

 

 

 

When there is a leaden weight on your conscience, there is no place on Earth that will grant you safe refuge. You must stay in the here and now--and stare yourself directly in the eyes without flinching.

 

 

 

"There is no need to raise our hands to heaven; there is no need to implore the temple warden to allow us close to the ear of some graven image, as though this increased the chances of our being heard. God is near you, is with you, is inside you."

 

 

 

Your questions are answered even before being asked. LISTEN.

 

 

 

"You've pledged to bring succour to the shipwrecked, to those in captivity, to the sick, the needy and men who are just placing their heads beneath the executioner's uplifted axe...All mankind are stretching out their hands to you on every side. Lives that have been ruined, lives that are on their way to ruin are appealing for some help; it is to you that they look for hope and assistance..."

 

 

 

So many people around you cry out for help. Use the compassion and understanding forged in your own suffering to help them.

 "Our whole universe is no more than a semblance of reality, perhaps a deceptive semblance, perhaps one without substance altogether."

Live with passion and determination, but avoid taking life too seriously.

 

 

 

"No moment is exempt: in the midst if pleasures there are found the springs of suffering. In the middle of peace war rears its head, and the bulwarks of one's security are transformed into sources of alarm, friend turning foe and ally turning enemy. The summer's calm is upset by sudden storms more severe than those of winter. In the absence of the enemy we suffer all that an enemy might wreak on us."

 

 

 

Within light, darkness; within darkness, light. Yin and yang.

 

 

 

"A setback has often cleared the way for greater prosperity. Many things have fallen only to rise to more exalted heights."

 

 

 

Pain gives birth to creativity and compassion. Do not spurn it; instead, gently embrace it--and, through a process of inner alchemy, transmute it into love.

Keep Going

"[T]hough life beckons it is not a sign that it will always look on you in favor. It beckons because you must make your journey, and you soon learn that in that journey there is also disappointment, failure, sorrow, frustration, weariness, and doubt. Just as you were carried along by your determination, you find yourself dragged down by failure. Then you learn that inside you, along with the will to win is a willingness to lose, to stop when the hill seems too steep, when the road becomes too narrow and rough. That willingness will speak to you of self-pity, and sometimes it will plead, and sometimes rant. But always it tries to make you stop."

--Joseph M. Marshall III, Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance

Recently, while wandering aimlessly through a bookstore (something I always relish), I found a priceless little gem of a book called Keep Going. It is a deeply moving book of Lakota wisdom. It is heartwrenching, direct, and lucid--but, at all times, compassionate and wise.

The basic premise of the message is quite simple: no matter what, KEEP GOING. Put one foot in front of the other.

Maybe you'll collapse from exhaustion. Or maybe that one extra step will lead you to your goal. The only way to know for sure is to try--with all one's might.

In depression, our journeys tend to be inward. Face your inner storm; look it straight in the eye--and, with tough-minded compassion, WALK THROUGH IT.

Keep going.

Step by step, descend into your inner self. Dark clouds rumble overhead, and the blinding bursts of lightning startle you...but keep going.

Many paths will branch off, enticing you to take it easy, to choose a less arduous course. Depression does not like to be found.

Keep going.

One step at a time. One.step.at.a.time.

Surely, that is a journey worth taking.



"Dying to Be Me"

"I continued to sense myself expanding further and further outward, drawing away from my physical surroundings. It was as though I were no longer restricted by the confines of space and time, and continued to spread myself out to occupy a greater expanse of consciousness. I felt a sense of freedom and liberation that I'd never experienced in my physical life before. I can only describe this as the combination of a sense of joy mixed with a generous sprinkling of jubilation and happiness. It stemmed from being released from my sick and dying body, a feeling of jubilant emancipation from all the pain that my illness had caused me." -- Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me: My Journey From Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

In her remarkable memoir of sickness and recovery, Anita Moorjani narrates her journey to "the other side" after a particularly vicious bout of cancer. She experiences a glimpse of the beyond--only to return back to life, fully healed and profoundly enriched by her experience:

"Each morning, I woke up wanting to explore the world anew. Every day was a fresh adventure. I wanted to walk, drive, explore, sit on the hills and the sand, and just take in this life!...The deliciousness of each day made me feel as though I'd just been born."

What a beautiful line!...and yet...what a cruel taunt.


Yes, it is a beautiful description of a life begun anew after a near-death experience. But how many of us--stricken with depression, struggling to drag ourselves through the day--can honestly hope for such a miraculous recovery? How many of us can even imagine feeling "as though I'd just been born"?

How many of us can hope at all?


I believe that hoping for bliss, for a life after this one, is counterproductive when trying to overcome depression. It focuses our attention far beyond the present moment, projecting our wishes and dreams into a tenuous future.

The present moment is our only refuge.


Hoping for death, for an afterlife--this is precisely what the depression wants. Its goal is to drive a wedge between us and the full richness of the present-moment experience.


I don't know if an afterlife exists. I want to believe that it does, that someday our suffering simply ends and we rediscover some joyous component of ourselves we'd long given up for lost. But I also know that it is only here, now, that true healing can occur.

We must simply be, and live--now. It's all we can do.

Half a Life: Dealing With Guilt

"My internal climate was a hurricane alley. Emotions blew through, downing power lines, hefting cars onto roofs, destroying the finish. Low treas, dead wood thrown across traffic. That's the force of guilt for you." -- Darin Strauss


In Darin Strauss's remarkable memoir, Half a Life, he brilliantly describes the slow, agonizing grind of living with--and overcoming--crippling guilt.


In his case, the guilt was caused by a car accident that left a classmate dead. Though it was no fault of his, he spent nearly half his life (hence the title) coming to terms with the event.



I've come to believe that guilt is a universal experience, as quintessentially human as breathing and eating. Everyone regrets something. In Darin Strauss's case, it is a specific event; for others, it may be a more diffuse sense of human guilt over simply existing, being alive.


No emotion is as noxious, as corrosive, as destructive, as guilt. While healthy guilt (over genuine wrongdoings) reminds us not to repeat the offense again, the unhealthy variety eats us up from the inside, like acid, burning its way through the depths of our soul.


It doesn't stop until it has burned us to a crisp--or itself.


I have no easy answers. No magic pill, or self-help technique, will make your guilt disappear. I wish it were that simple, but it's not. Guilt is evil, and it HURTS, and it's quite real.


But there are ways of dealing with it. The important thing is to feel it.


Enter a meditative state in whatever way works for you. Then, open yourself to your guilt.



(NOTE: because this experience is so powerful, it is best done under the guidance of a qualified counselor)


Feel the guilt fully. Let it run its course, screaming wildly, banging its pots and pans of accusation.


Now, do something that will drive it nuts: gently, with compassion, ask it a question: "I am here. How may I be of service?"


Usually, the guilt has no idea how to respond. It flickers uncertainly, unsure of whether to continue its course of conquest or to retreat.


Then--LISTEN TO ITS ANSWER.


It may be that nothing will change. Or, suddenly, you may gain an insight into your guilt that it has been waiting to share with you. You may find something else underneath all that guilt--sadness (as in my case), or some other underlying emotion.


Or, the guilt may not change at all.


Either way, listen. Learn to respect your guilt, and to view it with compassion and love. It, too, suffers.

"Things don't go away. They become you...But we keep making our way, as we have to. We're all pretty much able to deal even with the worst that life can fire at us, if we simply admit that it is very difficult. I think that's the whole of the answer. We make our way, and effort and time give us cushion and dignity. And as we age, we're riding higher in the saddle, seeing more terrain."

"But when you tell your own story honestly, that epiphany thing is rare: there is no walk, there is no fated grab. You try every fruit, or forget there even are trees, and wander from forest to forest, losing sight of any destination. The only changes are emergencies or blessings: when you wake up, notice the surroundings, then fall back, and wander more. And if you're lucky you end up walking again through a life where you're never called on to do too much noticing...This is what guilt is like, this is what grief is like, this is how a life forms: when you can't ignore it, when it wraps itself around one event like a vine clutching a rock."

-- Darin Strauss, Half a Life