Blogging: Seneca

"Think for a long time whether or not you should admit a given person to your friendship. But when you have decided to do so, welcome him heart and soul, and speak as unreservedly with him as you would with yourself."

Be cautious when granting people admittance to your inner circle; but when you do grant it, do so without scruples.

 

 

 

"Fear keeps pace with hope. Nor does their so moving together surprise me; both belong to a mind in suspense, to a mind in a state of anxiety through looking into the future. Both are mainly due to projecting our thoughts far ahead of us instead of adapting ourselves to the present. Thus it is that foresight, the greatest blessing humanity has been given, is transformed into a curse."

As much as possible, stay in the present moment. That is where true healing awaits you.

"We who are recovering from a prolonged spiritual sickness are in the same condition as invalids who have been affected to such an extent by prolonged indisposition that they cannot once be taken out of doors without ill effects."

 

 

 

Depression is brutal and carries a venomous bite. Its devastating effects should never be underestimated.

 

 

 

"If God adds the morrow we should accept it joyfully. The man who looks for the morrow without worrying over it knows a peaceful independence and a happiness beyond all others. Whoever has said 'I have lived' receives a windfall every day he gets up in the morning."

 

 

 

Look to the future, by all means, but don't dwell on it. Exercise foresight with your feet planted firmly in the present.

 

 

 

"You rush hither and thither with the idea of dislodging a firmly seated weight when the very dashing about just adds to the trouble it causes you--like the cargo in a ship...Once you have rid yourself of the affliction there, though, every change of scene will become a pleasure. You may be banished to the ends of the earth, and yet in whatever outlandish corner of the world you may find yourself stationed, you will find that place, whatever it may be, a hospitable home. Where you arrive does not matter so much as what sort of person you are when you arrive there."

 

 

 

When there is a leaden weight on your conscience, there is no place on Earth that will grant you safe refuge. You must stay in the here and now--and stare yourself directly in the eyes without flinching.

 

 

 

"There is no need to raise our hands to heaven; there is no need to implore the temple warden to allow us close to the ear of some graven image, as though this increased the chances of our being heard. God is near you, is with you, is inside you."

 

 

 

Your questions are answered even before being asked. LISTEN.

 

 

 

"You've pledged to bring succour to the shipwrecked, to those in captivity, to the sick, the needy and men who are just placing their heads beneath the executioner's uplifted axe...All mankind are stretching out their hands to you on every side. Lives that have been ruined, lives that are on their way to ruin are appealing for some help; it is to you that they look for hope and assistance..."

 

 

 

So many people around you cry out for help. Use the compassion and understanding forged in your own suffering to help them.

 "Our whole universe is no more than a semblance of reality, perhaps a deceptive semblance, perhaps one without substance altogether."

Live with passion and determination, but avoid taking life too seriously.

 

 

 

"No moment is exempt: in the midst if pleasures there are found the springs of suffering. In the middle of peace war rears its head, and the bulwarks of one's security are transformed into sources of alarm, friend turning foe and ally turning enemy. The summer's calm is upset by sudden storms more severe than those of winter. In the absence of the enemy we suffer all that an enemy might wreak on us."

 

 

 

Within light, darkness; within darkness, light. Yin and yang.

 

 

 

"A setback has often cleared the way for greater prosperity. Many things have fallen only to rise to more exalted heights."

 

 

 

Pain gives birth to creativity and compassion. Do not spurn it; instead, gently embrace it--and, through a process of inner alchemy, transmute it into love.

Guesthouse of Despair

"Depressive psychosis is the extreme on the continuum of too much necessity, that is, of too much finitude, too much limitation by the body and the behaviors of the person in the real world, and not enough freedom of the inner self, of inner symbolic possibility. This is how we understand depressive psychosis today: as a bogging down in the femands of others--family, job, the narrow horizon of daily dutues. In such a bogging down the individual does not feel or see that he has alternatives, cannot imagine any choices or alternate ways of life, cannot release himself from the network of obligations even though these obligations no longer give him a sense of self-esteem, of primary value, of being a heroic contributor to world life even by doing his daily family and job duties." -- ERNEST BECKER

Fear of death is a normal part of life--or so Ernest Becker believed.

Sadly, for those of us who struggle daily with depression, we are afraid--all too acutely--of life.

In each of us, an insidious voice whispers alluring lies...and, far too often, we listen and nod our approval.

You are worthless.

Your guilt will haunt you forever.

You feel terrible about yourself? Good. You should.

And, the kicker:

Why don't you just DIE? The world will be better off without you.

This last one HURTS. We scramble to respond with a self-reassuring platitude to pacify the demon. It works...for a while. Then, the voice returns, twice as loud, twice as angry...twice as false.

I have come to realize that the only way to transcend the death drive is to listen to it. Get to know it, as one gets to know a temporary guest.

Bring yourself to a state of meditative awareness.

Then, listen.

This lying voice--what does it sound like? Does it whisper or shout? Is it slick, grumpy, or frothing with rage?

When does it speak to you?

LISTEN.

After a while, something truly remarkable happens. The voice grows weaker, softer, less self-assured.

Want to really drive it nuts? Then do this.

Smile...and bow to it.

At that moment, the "voice" is often so stunned that it grows silent. When it finally resumes its whispering, its former power is somehow diminished.

And you...you suddenly feel a flush of sorrow and compassion for this lonely, frightened voice deep down inside, which rages and raves simply because it is so utterly alone and terrified.

When you feel love for it...it grows quiet..

So, as Rumi enjoined, love every guest that travels through your mind--but keep both doors open. Let them pass through, and send them off with a smile.

Try it--and please, let me know how it works out!

Blogging Dante: Part 3

"Bound for the pit, this is no causeless trek."

　

Indeed it isn't. You have concrete reasons for descending into the heart of your despair. That reason is recovery.

　

"Now you can see, my son, how ludicrous

And brief are all the goods in Fortune's ken,

Which humankind contend for: you see from this

How all the gold there is beneath the moon,

Or all that there ever was, could not relieve

One of these weary souls."

　

Material possessions may fill the void temporarily--but, in the long run, they turn against you. Therapy can be bought, but at what a price!


"Fortune, like any god, foresees,
　

Judges, and rules her appointed realm. No truces

Can stop her turning...She is cursed

Too often by those who ought to sing her praises,

Wrongfully blamed and defamed."

　

Not all suffering means something. That's not to say that you can't use it as a gateway to joy.

　

"Although I come, I do not come to remain."

　

Do not tarry inside your own thoughts for too long. Let them pass, and move on ahead.

　

"So he goes away and leaves me, the gentle father,

While I remain in doubt, with yes and no

Vying in my head."

　

Do not be afraid of doubt. Doubt is healthy. Doubt heals. Go through to the other side of certainty as often as possible.

　

"This quagmire which produces

So strong a stench surrounds the city of woe

We cannot enter now except with wrath."

　

Anger is a step above depression. Do not reject it out of hand. Use it.

　

"'And I pray

You, listen'--he raised a finger at the word.

'When you confront her radiance, whose eyes can see

Everything in their fair clarity, be assured

Then you shall learn what your life's journey will be."

　

When you have descended beneath your sadness, you will discover exactly why the journey will have had been worthwhile.

　

"On every side, I heard wailing voices grieve,

Yet I could not see anyone there to wail..."

　

Some thoughts cannot be assigned a shape, or a voice. They are amorphous, ephemeral. Listen to them anyway.

　

"And I--I made my own house be my gallows."

　

Your guilt is your gallows. Slowly, painstakingly, deconstruct it, brick by brick, nail by nail.

　

"If you keep navigating by your star

You'll find a glorious port, if I discerned

Well in the fair life."

　

No matter what, follow your inner guidance. Take heed of its instructions. It's more accurate than any GPS system ever invented.

　

"I leave the bitter gall behind, and aspire

Toward the sweet fruits promised by my guide,

But first I must go downward to the core."

　

Before heaven, you must walk through hell. Walk through the core of your depression--if for no other reason than to discover what's on the other side.

　

"What your mind dreams will be before your eyes."

　

Whatever path you picture for yourself, it will materialize, often in very unexpected ways.

　

"There is a place called Malebolge in Hell...

Right in the center of this malign field yawns

A wide deep pit...

To my right side I saw new tortures, new woes,

And new tormentorrs, with whom the first ditch teemed..."


Each of us has our own Malebolge--and each of us must traverse it.


"Readying myself at the cliff's brink, I looked down

Into the canyon my master had revealed

And saw that it was watered by tears of pain:

All through the circular valley I beheld

A host of people coming, weeping but mute.

They walked at a solemn pace...

The head was twisted backwards: some cruel torsion

Forced face toward kidneys, and the people strode

Backwards, because deprived of forward vision."


Depression makes backward walkers out of us all.


"'I tell you, have no fear: it is the wretches

Who boil here that they menace--so let them grind

As fiercely as they like, and scowl their worst."

　

Let your inner demons scowl and gnash their teeth all they want. You need not take their ranting seriously.

　

"[T]he demon turned his claws

Upon his comrade and grappled him in midair

Above the fosse. But his opponent was

A full-grown hawk equipped with claws to respond

Truly and well; and as they fought, the brace

Fell into the middle of the boiling pond.

The heat unclenched them at once; but though released

They could not rise, because their wings were gummed

And clotted."

　

　

Be still, and allow your thoughts to fight it out among themselves. Then, deal with the winner. It's much easier this way.

　

　

"'To cast off sloth

Now well behooves you,' said my master then:

'For resting upon soft down, or underneath

The blanket's cloth, is not how fame is won--

Without which, one spends life to leave behind

As vestige of himself on earth the sign

Smoke leaves on air, or foam on water. So stand

And overcome your panting--with the soul,

Which wins all battles if it does not despond

Under its body's heavy weight."

　

To which you must reply:

　

"Go on, for I am strong and resolute."

Blogging Dante: Interlude

"'Master, these torments--tell me, will they increase

After the Judgment, or lessen, or merely endure,

Burning as much as now?' He said, 'In this,

Go back to your science, which teaches that the more

A creature is perfect, the more it perceives the good--

And likewise pain." (emphasis added)

Without romanticizing pain, take heart from the fact that you've endured so much of it--and survived. That takes courage. The greater your pain, the deeper you are in your own hell--and are that much closer to recovery.

Blogging Dante: Part 2

"You, who have come to sorrow's hospice, think well...

Beware how you come in and whom you trust,

Don't be deceived because the gate is wide."

When depression strikes, all sorts of thoughts begin knocking on your door. Be judicious in granting them admittance.

"I am where

All light is mute, with a bellowing like the ocean

Turbulent in a storm of warring winds,

The hurricane of Hell in perpetual motion

Sweeping the ravaged spirits as it rends,

Twists, and torments them. Driven as if to land,

They reach the ruin: groaning, tears, laments,

And cursing of the power of Heaven."

Thoughts will arise in the murky depths, thoughts of grief and agony. Again, be cautious in whom you allow to enter the inner chambers of your mind. Depression calls for vitilant gatekeeping.

"No sadness

Is greater than in misery to rehearse

Memories of joy..."

Do not attempt to force happiness. Walk straight through your pain, with a bold, determined step.

"I am in the third

Circle, a realm of cold and heavy rain--

A dark, accursed torrent eternally poured

With changeless measure and nature. Enormous hail

And tainted water mixed with snow are showered

Steadily through the shadowy air of hell:

The soil they drench gives off a putrid odor.

Three-headed Cerberus, mostrous and cruel,

Barks doglike at the souls immersed here, louder

For his triple throat."


As your journey continues, stay strong. Feel the fear if you must, but keep going.

Blogging Dante: Part 1

"Midway on our life's journey, I found myself
In dark woods, the right road lost. To tell
About these woods is hard--so tangled and rough
And savage that thinking of it now, I feel
the old fear stirring; death is hardly more
bitter.
And yet, to treat the good I found there as well
I'll tell what I saw..."


　
Thus begins your descent. Fear not: you aren't the first to make this journey. Help is available--but only if you tell what you saw. Find someone to whom you can relate your tale. The effects are profoundly cathartic.


　
"Then I could feel the terror begin to ease
That churned in my heart's lake all through the night.
As one still panting, ashore from dangerous seas
Looks back at the deep he has escaped, my thought
Returned, still fleeing, to regard that grim defile
That never left alive any who stayed in it."


　
Depression is a jealous author with a forked tongue. Do not believe it. Reserve for yourself, and yourself alone, the right to tell your story.


　
"But you--why go back down to such misery?
Why not ascend the delightful mountain, source
And principle that causes every joy?"


　
NOT SO FAST. Before ascending, one must descend.The path to heaven invariably leads through hell--"To hear the cries of despair, and to behold
Ancient tormented spirits as they lament
In chorus the second death they must abide."


"Help me escape this evil that I face,
And worse. Lead me to witness what you have said,
Saint Peter's gate, and the multitude of woes."


　
To escape hell, one must first traverse it. The good news is, you can always ask for assistance. Many have walked down the same road; they know the way--and they can help you.


　
"While I alone was preparing as though for war
To struggle with the journey and with the spirit
Of pity, which flawless memory must redraw."


　
While others may help guide you, it is up to you to put one foot in front of the other. You, and you alone, can make the pitiless journey through hell.


　
"But I--what cause, whose favor, could send me forth
Onn such a voyage? I am no Aeneas or Paul:
Not I nor others think me of such worth."
"'If I understand correctly,' the generous shade retorted,
'Cowardice grips your spirit--which can twist
A man away from the noblest enterprise
As a trick of vision startled a shying beast."


　
Did you hear that? Dante praises you for attempting the journey. If you are strong enough to wade through your own nightmares, you are of immense worth. However often depression tries to convince you otherwise, always know this. "Why be a coward rather than bolder, freer...?


　
Virgil: "Fear befits things with power for injury/Not things which lack such power."


　
Depression is a thing that lacks such power--unless you choose to grant it. In fact, depression is no-thing at all.


　
ABANDON ALL HOPE, YOU WHO ENTER HERE
"All fear must be left here, and cowardice die."


　
Be fearless in your journey. Countless others have made it before you--and survived.


　
"The sighs, groans and laments at first were so loud,
Resounding through starless air, I began to weep:
Strange languages, horrible screams, words imbued
With rage or despair, cries as of troubled sleep
Or of a tortured shrillness--they rose in a coil
Of tumult, along with noises like the slap
Of beating hands, all fused in a ceaseless flame
That churns and frenzies that dark and timeless air
Like sand in a whirlwind."


　
No one ever said it would be easy...


　
Virgil: "Souls who are good
Never pass this way; therefore, if you hear
Charon complaining at your presence, consider
What that means."


　
Depression will complain about your presence in its domain, even as it seeks to consume you. That's because it's used to victims--not explorers. Be an explorer, then.


　
"Peering to find where I was--in truth, the lip
Above the chasm of pain, which holds the din
Of infinite grief: a gulf so dark and deep
And murky that though I gazed intently down
Into the canyon, I could see nothing below."
'Now we descend into the sightless zone...'


　
Among the most insidious aspects of depression is that it places you right on the rim of "the chasm of pain," without granting you the sharp-sightedness to see what lies below. Since imagination, like nature, abhors a vacuum, it quickly fills the abyss with a grotesque assortment of ghouls and despair.


　
"'[H]aving no hope, we live in longing."

　
Longing for happiness, for joy--or for death. Do not believe it--that's the depression talking. What you need is not hope, but the determination to go through with your journey.


　
"So I descended from first to second circle--
Which girdles a smaller space and greater pain,
Which spurs more lamentation."