"When things fall apart, instead of struggling to regain our concept of who we are, we can use it as an opportunity to be open and inquisitive about what has just happen and what will happen next."
Pema Chödrön, Comfortable With Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion
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Curiosity doesn't easily lend itself to a depressed mind. Yet, ironically, it may be the key that unlocks the door to wellness.
When you reach "rock bottom" and feel like you cannot possibly sink any lower...that there is little, if any, hope...that there's no point in continuing...Keep digging. Become curious.
It may be a morbid curiosity--but it may well save your life.
Become curious about what is happening to you.
Walk around your despair. Poke and prod it with a stick. Is it squishy? Solid? Liquid?
How do you feel when it hits? Or better yet: Where do you feel when it hits?
Where in your body do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your fingertips?
When does it arrive? When does it leave?
Here is where being morbidly curious can really become interesting:
What controls the ebb and flow of my suffering?
By finally mustering the courage to ask this question, you get to bypass the phenomenal symptoms of your suffering and head straight for the noumenon.
Look at it. Examine it with all the attention your weary mind can muster.
What is it, REALLY?
The answer is different for everyone. For me, when I finally looked past the depression, what I saw was--sadness. An endless sea, stretching out in every direction, fading behind the pallid, leaden horizon.
Yet even that sadness may have been a spark given off by something else, something buried much deeper in the Unconscious.
As you can tell, I'm still searching. And...I invite you to do the same.
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